"I know what it is like to feel like an impostor: I have lived that experience a few times in my life, during the early years and well into adulthood. My stories are your stories. All of our impostor stories give rise to a powerful insight about the importance of finding and being our authentic selves …. Above all else, always remember that there has only ever been, and will always only be, one you." Harold Hillman PhD
How often in our lives or careers or both do we get that feeling that we need to try harder to fit in or maybe we feel we should stand out more. The question is which one would you choose and does that reflect who you are. It is pretty common place for people to wear the mask of the impostor especially when you have grown up in a world where people lived by the saying "fake it until you make it".
Around 2017 I was fully immersed in the world of being an imposter at work. I felt I was doing my job and fitting in with what I believed the organisation wanted or needed from me and my role. Luckily I had a boss who saw the value in investing in me and I was able to complete a program called LSI (Leadership Style Inventory) where you complete a psychometric test and also receive 360 feedback from the people you work with. Then you work with a coach who helps you work through the feedback and information you are provided. This lets you see what you are good at and understand how to continue to grow your strengths plus work on some of your gaps.
One of the key lessons from working through my LSI assessment was that I was not seen as authentic by some of the people I worked with. They didn't quite feel they knew me and this sometimes could cause an issue around trust. Somehow I had picked only a select group of people that I would pull my armour down (Brene Brown) or take my mask off (Harold Hillman) for. For everyone else I was being who I thought they wanted or need me to be. In the end everyone just wanted me to be me.
Fast forward to 2019 and I can proudly say that I no longer wear a mask or pretend to be anyone other than myself. I am the same person at work as I am at home. I have connected with people throughout the organisation and built great long lasting relationships. For me it is important to be an authentic person and leader. In the last couple of weeks I have had opportunities to continue to connect with people and been reminded how much they value the relationship we have built together. I feel very privileged to be seen as a trusted advisor who can be told someone's most vulnerable thoughts through to having a calming affect for someone that has a high stress role.
Being authentic is an aspect of our lives that is becoming more and more important to people especially within the workplace. Harold Hillman provide great insights into what it means to be authentic with his 7 elements of authenticity;
Positivity - Do you make people feel good about themselves? Do you affirm people? Do you provide the fuel for others that are wanting to make a difference?
Real - Are you consistent and genuine. Do you connect with people or do you feel you have to use big words that even you do not fully understand? Do people need a decoder to understand you?
Edge - Do you stand out and bring it when it matters? Do people clearly understand what is your line in the sand?
Vulnerability - Are you ok with taking a risk? Are you ok with not being perfect or always being right? Do you stretch yourself as much as your team or peers? Are you open to letting others help you?
Energy - Do you invest in building something with people? Do you provide opportunity to others to help you be successful. Do you ask people to help you think?
Integrity - Do you bring your whole person to everything that you do? Are you able to walk the talk? Do people feel they deal with the same version of you every time they interact with you?
Connections - Do you bring people together? Are people inspired by your edge and/or your vulnerability?
It is great to reflect on what it means to be authentic and the value it has added to my life and career. It is an aspect of my current growth as a person and leader that I am proud of. I feel that I truly am a role model for those that I work with and also my son. The best part so far of writing articles each week is that it reinforces my drive to keep learning, growing, connecting and making a difference.
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